I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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