is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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