he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
