The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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