I'm going to jail i love you
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
