How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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