Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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