What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
