so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
