This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
