I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
