I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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