You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
