Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well you can't waste a boner
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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