so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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