Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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