He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
