i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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