Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
