we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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