i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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