Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
