Pappa wants mamma naked
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
