Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
