Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
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I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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