he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize