YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
