Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
