What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
