So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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