4 words: hood of his car
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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