Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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