Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize