you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize