Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
