That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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