Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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