she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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