1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
