You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
