You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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