I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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