margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
