So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
