Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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