It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
