so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
