That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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