Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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