I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
