Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize