If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The uberlube is also flammable
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
