we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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