I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it hurts more in the daytime
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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