who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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