Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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