just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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