its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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