so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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