...so i touched it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
