I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
