What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize