Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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